Charlotte's Birth Story.

Over the past three months I have struggled to write my birth story. Not because of time, exhaustion or any other physical issue. Instead I couldn't emotionally handle the memory of my daughter's birthday and the idea of sharing those thoughts and feelings with anyone made my physically sick. My actual birth experience was, while a little scary at times, overall amazing. The trauma for me came before and after labor. I hope that by waiting to share my story until I was ready allows the positive experience to shine through.

I was 39 weeks and 4 days pregnant. Somehow, the office had lost my appointment and no longer had me down to come in that day. There was no problem though and I was fit in. Thankfully. After being checked and finding out that I had made no progress again for the 4^th week in a row I chose to have my membranes stripped. Later that decision would haunt me (and at times it still does). My doctor chooses to do routine ultrasounds at every appointment. Again thankfully. As soon as the wand hit my belly I knew something was wrong. The screen looked way different and my doctors entire demeanor changed drastically. I casually commented that I didn’t understand how he could see anything hoping I would get a response as to what was going on. The response of “that is the problem, but at least I just found the heartbeat” was more than enough to make my stomach flip flop and my heart to drop. The ultrasound showed no measurable fluid. Not. A. Single. Drop. Dr S made a quick call to St. Luke’s telling them that we were on our way and we were told to get there ASAP because we were being induced and having a baby. Unfortunately, it was not an April fools joke but I was promised that we would do everything we could to accomplish the natural birth I so desperately wanted.

I arrived at the hospital at 2:30pm and the diagnosis was confirmed of no fluid by the floor OB. She did find a very small pocket of fluid around the cord that was too small to be measurable and a pocket of fluid in the baby’s bladder. By 3:40pm it had been determined that I was definitely staying, I had been checked (still at 2cm and baby hadn’t dropped at all), already had my first argument with the nurse because I was told I could wear my own clothes to labor in and then they made me wear a gown instead, a million questions had been answered and pitocin started. For the first few hours labor was easy and I spent the majority of my time on the birthing ball watching TV. The baby was tolerating the pitocin and contractions like a champ so far with a beautiful heartbeat



Around 7:00pm shift change happened (SO happy since we HATED my first nurse) and I was checked again. This time I was 4cm and at a 0 station. Huge progress for as easy as my labor had been so far. Since we had gone to the hospital so quickly Chad had left his car at work so my brother came to the hospital to get the keys and drive it home as well as bring the items we had already packed thinking that was the car we would be taking. While he was gone my labor quickly started to get pretty painful but I managed to get into my own groove and really start working with my contractions. Unfortunately, that groove started no longer working for me when the contractions became literally on top of each other and I ended up throwing up several times.

At around 8:30pm I decided to try the Jacuzzi hoping that the warm water and jets would help relax my muscles a little. It really helped for awhile. I had been freezing cold all day so the warm water did do the one thing I needed and allowed me to relax and stop shivering. However, eventually the heat worked against me and I started to feel too warm and wanted to get out. When I tried to stand up though, I became very light headed and thought I was going to pass out. My feet and hands had begun to go very numb as well. The nurse ended up needing to bring a wheelchair and assistance to get me out of the tub and into bed. The numbness continued to creep up my arms and legs till it was past my elbows and knees. Not feeling well I headed back to the bathroom and stayed sitting on the toilet for several contractions. Somehow I managed to get unhooked from the monitors between going from tub to toilet so my nurse needed me to go back to bed so the baby could be monitored. All the changes in positions made my next few contractions almost unbearable. I began throwing up again, the numbness continued to creep up my legs and arms, my face became numb and I began shaking so uncontrollably the nurses were helping me stay in the bed. I was also the coldest I had ever been.

At this point it was 10:00pm and I wanted to be checked hoping that I was hitting transition. Unfortunately, I had only made it to 5cm and was still at 0 station. The baby was still tolerating the contractions like a champ but I on the other hand was not. At that point I knew that I had reached my limit. I could not physically take any more and I asked for an epidural. At that point I felt like the biggest failure and I kept apologizing to Chad and chastising myself for not being able to continue on. By 10:30pm my epidural had been placed and I was beginning to feel it take effect. A few minutes before midnight I was actually enjoying a few quite calm moments with my hubby and brushing my teeth, which felt FANTASTIC! Then we both decided to try and take a nap. Chad managed to but I couldn’t fall asleep.

12:30am on April 2 I was checked again and found out that I was now 8cm and 0 station. Moments later my water broke on its own. 1:30am I asked to be checked again because I was feeling a whole lot of pressure and sure enough I was at 10cm with just a tiny lip and at a +2 station. Dr. S was called and he wanted me to try a few practice pushes. After 1 push it was apparent that this baby was ready to come out and I was told to avoid pushing at all costs. Finally my doctor arrived and 4 pushes later at 2:11am our beautiful Charlotte Faye was born weighing 6lbs 8oz and 19 1/4 inches. Daddy cut her umbilical cord and she was placed on my chest but quickly taken because she wasn’t breathing.

While they worked on her we discovered why there had been no amniotic fluid. I had a velamentous insertion. Besides the small part of cord that Chad cut the umbilical cord came out in thin strings and my placenta came out in itty bitty pieces. I was planning to tell a little more about this part but I have realized it is still not something I am ready to talk about except to say the info about it is scary.

All along my biggest fear has been losing my baby at full term during delivery specifically due to a cord accident. Early on I had read a blog of a woman that lost her baby due to a scary cord accident and it became something I got stuck on. Knowing how easily my fear could have become a reality has really shaken me up. We were so lucky to leave the experience with a healthy baby in our arms. We so desperately wanted our baby and tried for so long I hope she always knows that she truly is a miracle and our greatest gift.