Update

Hmmmmm...It's been awhile. So, let's play catch up. In bullet points.

* My baby is now a toddler.
* I am ready to move.
* The house is STILL going through renovation.
* A year of parenting has given me a new level confidence in myself.
* It has also made me comfortable in my own skin. Weird.
* My family is not complete and I am desperate for another baby.
* I am no longer a twentysomething

I think that may sum it all up.

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lessons in postpartum

If you have ever been pregnant you know that people love to talk about their pregnancies in graphic detail. They want to tell you the good, the bad and the terrifying. However, no one talks about postpartum. Oh sure, you hear the jokes about raging hormones, baby blues and sleepless nights. Yet no one REALLY shares their experience. After talking to a few of my friends I was surprised to learn that some of the emotions and feelings I felt were commonly experienced by others.

My delivery was a surprise. I wasn't having contractions, my water hadn't broken, the nursery wasn't done, my bags weren't packed and I had a list of errands to complete. In fact having an anxiety-ridden drive to the hospital was the only event that took place like I had allowed myself to imagine. I was not prepared to have an outside baby that day. I truly loved my daughter immediately after birth but I did not feel the bond I had imagined. While holding and staring at my beautiful baby girl I mourned the loss of my other baby. My inside baby. The baby that I had grown to love and know intimately over the previous nine months. I wanted my inside baby back. Those feelings also didn't go away immediately. At home I sat on the floor of my shower and cried until the water turned cold because I couldn't share such appalling feelings with anyone, even my husband. If only I had known that forming the mother baby bond is a process and mourning for the inside baby can be normal.

Pregnancy was painful. Very painful. Charlotte's head sat in my ribs for most of the pregnancy and I truly thought it was just a matter of time before my rib cracked. I also had joint pain which had me hobbling around from about 20 weeks on. The rib pain went away immediately after birth, although, I do have flair ups if I sit in certain positions for too long. The joint pain on the other hand has only gotten worse. There are mornings where I can barely stand on my left foot, my elbow creaks as I brush my hair and my wrist wants to give out as I pick up my baby. Come to find out postpartum joint pain is common, especially in breastfeeding mothers. Typically it begins to ease up either a few months after birth or a few months after weaning.

Breastfeeding is hard. Very hard. There are days that I did nothing but sit on my couch nursing my baby and crying. Those days sucked. Our hospital and pediatricians office sent us home with formula and it was so hard to not give in to the temptation of thinking lets just give her formula. Thankfully, I didn't give in and fortunately, the hard days were very temporary in the grand scheme of things. Seven months in and nursing has become a time of quiet snuggles that I look forward to.

Finally, that it's okay to say no. No we aren't having visitors today, no I don't want you to hold my baby right now, no we won't be bring her and about yet, etc. The first few weeks are very important bonding time and putting others feelings ahead what I needed interfered with that bond. Thankfully, wearing Charlotte in the moby wrap and spending quiet time together quickly helped us reform that necessary bond.

While I miss my squishy little baby I definitely don't miss those hard first few weeks of postpartum.

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a great boobie conversation

Let me preface this by saying that Charlotte does not take bottles. Ever. In the beginning we tried to convince her that a bottle was the same as the original, but after every attempt resulted in screaming and lots of wasted milk, we finally gave up. Whatever, her num-nums are easier to keep clean and are always available.

Me: "I figured out what to do with all that frozen breastmilk I have stored up."

Chad: "Oh jeez."

Me: "What does that comment mean?"

Chad: "Nothing, just tell me what you are going to do with it."

Me: "No, seriously what did you mean by that."

Chad: "Just that whatever it is I am sure it is going to be something extremely generous and completely outside the scope of normal."

Me: "I'm going to use it to make pancakes for Charlotte, because we don't have a waffle maker. Does that mean you think I am abnormal?"

Chad: No response because he is running for the bathroom heaving.

A little while later.

Chad: "Why don't we just make breastmilk butter while we are at it."

Um excuse me. He thought pancakes were disgusting?

I'm not sure whether I should be complemented because he must think I am a very generous person or offended because I made him want to hurl.

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new kicks

ya digg?

Seriously though, now we don't have to worry about getting kicked out of Burger King! No clue what I am talking about? Have a look here.

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Weekly Menu

At Kangaroo Kids today, a weekly breastfeeding moms support group that Charlotte and I attend, the subject of grocery shopping came up. I think because I was moaning and groaning about not only having to go but also about having to still actually make the menu plan for the week. I was not the only one that struggles with what to make for dinner each week. Realizing that I figured why not post our weeks menu. Mine goes from Friday to Thursday since I try* to grocery shop on Thursdays to take advantage of the $10 off $50.

Friday - chicken curry, basamati rice, garlic naan, salad
Saturday - chicken tortellini soup, salad (lunch)
crockpot BBQ chicken sandwiches, onion petals, salad (dinner)
Sunday - biscuits and gravy, scrambled eggs (brunch)
tomato soup, cheese toasties (dinner)
Monday - mac and cheese, steamed broccoli, salad
Tuesday - crockpot steak, parsley potatoes, salad
Wednesday - tofu terriyaki stirfry, brown rice
Thursday - spaghetti, garlic bread, salad (unless we have tons of leftovers)

*try is the key word because today it definitely didn't happen!

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Rolls and Fluff

Seriously does it get any cuter? I could just gobble her up.

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Weekend Fun

Saturday we spent the afternoon at the first birthday party of a very special little girl. Her name is Lilly, but what makes her so special, besides just being herself, is her mommy and I grew up living next to each other from the time I was brought home from the hospital till we both left for college! Charlotte was cranky from her monthly vaccinations two days before, yet, managed to take a small time out to be silly with Grandma!


Sunday we went to Sparta for a family reunion. Despite being passed around quite a bit she managed to stay happy and charm everyone. I was afraid I was going to have grab her and make a run for it when we were ready to leave.

Thank you to my cousin Aaron's wife, Erin, for taking this picture.

We also visited my great grandma while we were in town.

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Frenemies

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Labor Day

Labor Day is summer's last holiday.

It is a day to relax and enjoy the warm sun,

spend time with family


and friends,

munch on something tasty,

be silly

and have fun.


Hope you had a great day celebrating summer's end!

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Newborn Cloth

We made the decision before Charlotte was born to use cloth diapers. I spent countless hours researching all the hundreds of options for diapers. Keeping in mind that we wanted several children and our diapers would be an investment I still tried to keep the cost to a minimum because let me tell you diapers can get expensive! Our decision was to go with mainly prefolds & covers with a few all in ones (AIO) mixed in. This was because prefolds will last a very long time, are inexpensive and have the added use as burp cloths and even rags later on. The only other thing I wanted was to try stick to natural fibers and stay away from microfiber. So our newborn stashed consisted of:

24 GMD newborn prefolds - These are consistently given high marks from reviewers on numerous different sites. I really loved the thickness and durability of these. They have been washed and dryed a ton of times already and they still look brand new!

12 GMD preemie prefolds - I actually purchased these to be used as inserts but we ended up using them as diapers for the first few weeks.

2 XS Thirsties Covers - Again these are well loved by reviewers especially for newborns. Turns out these are one of my favorites as well. I loved that they were on the thinner side and didn't seem to restrict Charlotte's movements.

2 Newborn Litewrap Covers - These are supposed to be a good long lasting cover and since they run a little on the large size would last for quite a while. I actually hated these and we think Charlotte did too. She cried every time we put them on her. It was a happy day in our house when she outgrew them. I also found the velcro tabs to never stay hooked to the laundry tabs while being washed which was a real pain.

1 Newborn Mommy's Touch Cover - I just fell in love with the look of these and wanted to try a snap cover. Absolutely the best cover we owned! In fact I just ordered 3 more in the infant to toddler size and had a hard time not ordering more. It fit great, felt great and looked absolutely adorable.

1 Newborn Bummis Super Whisper Wrap - Bummis in general is a well loved diapering brand and this cover is no exception. I however, found this cover to be just ok. It was never the first grabbed out of the drawer but it was definitely used before the litewraps.

Bumgenius XS AIO - I bought a few of these from the well loved bin at Cottonbabies. Chad had liked their ease of use and admittedly it sounded very appealing to me as well for being out and about. Best decision ever! I hated the idea that it was microfiber on the inside but in the end it worked very well for us. These diapers also fit long before any of the other diapers besides the preemie prefolds.

Wool Longies - I purchased the most adorable wool longies from another mommy to use as an overnight option. Oh my how I loved the soft squishy baby butt in the wool.

Despite all of my planning, researching and determination to use only natural fibers and the most inexpensive system my child had other plans. I have a very heavy wetter that is also extremely sensitive to moisture. Therefore, having put away all of our newborn stash and purchasing our baby stash we have decided to move to all microfiber since it wicks the moisture from Charlotte's sensitive behind.

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Charlotte's Birth Story.

Over the past three months I have struggled to write my birth story. Not because of time, exhaustion or any other physical issue. Instead I couldn't emotionally handle the memory of my daughter's birthday and the idea of sharing those thoughts and feelings with anyone made my physically sick. My actual birth experience was, while a little scary at times, overall amazing. The trauma for me came before and after labor. I hope that by waiting to share my story until I was ready allows the positive experience to shine through.

I was 39 weeks and 4 days pregnant. Somehow, the office had lost my appointment and no longer had me down to come in that day. There was no problem though and I was fit in. Thankfully. After being checked and finding out that I had made no progress again for the 4^th week in a row I chose to have my membranes stripped. Later that decision would haunt me (and at times it still does). My doctor chooses to do routine ultrasounds at every appointment. Again thankfully. As soon as the wand hit my belly I knew something was wrong. The screen looked way different and my doctors entire demeanor changed drastically. I casually commented that I didn’t understand how he could see anything hoping I would get a response as to what was going on. The response of “that is the problem, but at least I just found the heartbeat” was more than enough to make my stomach flip flop and my heart to drop. The ultrasound showed no measurable fluid. Not. A. Single. Drop. Dr S made a quick call to St. Luke’s telling them that we were on our way and we were told to get there ASAP because we were being induced and having a baby. Unfortunately, it was not an April fools joke but I was promised that we would do everything we could to accomplish the natural birth I so desperately wanted.

I arrived at the hospital at 2:30pm and the diagnosis was confirmed of no fluid by the floor OB. She did find a very small pocket of fluid around the cord that was too small to be measurable and a pocket of fluid in the baby’s bladder. By 3:40pm it had been determined that I was definitely staying, I had been checked (still at 2cm and baby hadn’t dropped at all), already had my first argument with the nurse because I was told I could wear my own clothes to labor in and then they made me wear a gown instead, a million questions had been answered and pitocin started. For the first few hours labor was easy and I spent the majority of my time on the birthing ball watching TV. The baby was tolerating the pitocin and contractions like a champ so far with a beautiful heartbeat



Around 7:00pm shift change happened (SO happy since we HATED my first nurse) and I was checked again. This time I was 4cm and at a 0 station. Huge progress for as easy as my labor had been so far. Since we had gone to the hospital so quickly Chad had left his car at work so my brother came to the hospital to get the keys and drive it home as well as bring the items we had already packed thinking that was the car we would be taking. While he was gone my labor quickly started to get pretty painful but I managed to get into my own groove and really start working with my contractions. Unfortunately, that groove started no longer working for me when the contractions became literally on top of each other and I ended up throwing up several times.

At around 8:30pm I decided to try the Jacuzzi hoping that the warm water and jets would help relax my muscles a little. It really helped for awhile. I had been freezing cold all day so the warm water did do the one thing I needed and allowed me to relax and stop shivering. However, eventually the heat worked against me and I started to feel too warm and wanted to get out. When I tried to stand up though, I became very light headed and thought I was going to pass out. My feet and hands had begun to go very numb as well. The nurse ended up needing to bring a wheelchair and assistance to get me out of the tub and into bed. The numbness continued to creep up my arms and legs till it was past my elbows and knees. Not feeling well I headed back to the bathroom and stayed sitting on the toilet for several contractions. Somehow I managed to get unhooked from the monitors between going from tub to toilet so my nurse needed me to go back to bed so the baby could be monitored. All the changes in positions made my next few contractions almost unbearable. I began throwing up again, the numbness continued to creep up my legs and arms, my face became numb and I began shaking so uncontrollably the nurses were helping me stay in the bed. I was also the coldest I had ever been.

At this point it was 10:00pm and I wanted to be checked hoping that I was hitting transition. Unfortunately, I had only made it to 5cm and was still at 0 station. The baby was still tolerating the contractions like a champ but I on the other hand was not. At that point I knew that I had reached my limit. I could not physically take any more and I asked for an epidural. At that point I felt like the biggest failure and I kept apologizing to Chad and chastising myself for not being able to continue on. By 10:30pm my epidural had been placed and I was beginning to feel it take effect. A few minutes before midnight I was actually enjoying a few quite calm moments with my hubby and brushing my teeth, which felt FANTASTIC! Then we both decided to try and take a nap. Chad managed to but I couldn’t fall asleep.

12:30am on April 2 I was checked again and found out that I was now 8cm and 0 station. Moments later my water broke on its own. 1:30am I asked to be checked again because I was feeling a whole lot of pressure and sure enough I was at 10cm with just a tiny lip and at a +2 station. Dr. S was called and he wanted me to try a few practice pushes. After 1 push it was apparent that this baby was ready to come out and I was told to avoid pushing at all costs. Finally my doctor arrived and 4 pushes later at 2:11am our beautiful Charlotte Faye was born weighing 6lbs 8oz and 19 1/4 inches. Daddy cut her umbilical cord and she was placed on my chest but quickly taken because she wasn’t breathing.

While they worked on her we discovered why there had been no amniotic fluid. I had a velamentous insertion. Besides the small part of cord that Chad cut the umbilical cord came out in thin strings and my placenta came out in itty bitty pieces. I was planning to tell a little more about this part but I have realized it is still not something I am ready to talk about except to say the info about it is scary.

All along my biggest fear has been losing my baby at full term during delivery specifically due to a cord accident. Early on I had read a blog of a woman that lost her baby due to a scary cord accident and it became something I got stuck on. Knowing how easily my fear could have become a reality has really shaken me up. We were so lucky to leave the experience with a healthy baby in our arms. We so desperately wanted our baby and tried for so long I hope she always knows that she truly is a miracle and our greatest gift.

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The Difference Of A Couple Weeks

Two weeks ago today at exactly this time we were on our way home from our weekly doctor appointment with orders to pick up our bags and go straight to the hospital. Our little girl was on her way. After laboring on pitocin for 11 hours we joyfully welcomed our beautiful little girl Charlotte Faye into the world.



She has already touched our hearts in ways we could not previously comprehend and for reasons unimaginable. Her birth has changed the way I see my husband, my life and the world around me. Life is good despite being constantly deliriously tired.

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Guest Room: before and after

Renovation 1.0 is finally over and I am so excited to start sharing the pics! We did a few small things this past summer but the intense nonstop work happened from the last week of December to the last week of February. The following photos are of our guest room. No room in the house is decorated yet so the after pictures will look very bare. We chose to get the construction done and then to start looking for pieces of furniture that suited the rooms.

Before: The room started out with very bright blue walls, a not so cute airplane boarder, lots of cracks in the walls, no trim and just in need of a good freshening up. It was also a very dark room partly due to the dark walls but also because of it's location in the house. The old ceiling fan was more of an accent light as well and really did nothing to help.

After: We took down the border, fixed all the cracks, painted the walls a gray white, cut off the windowsill, added trim around the window, added crown molding, painted all the trim bright white and added a new ceiling fan.


We chose to go with white walls to brighten the space and bring in as much light as possible. So far the queen bed, desk and lamp that are in there now will be staying. We have fabric picked out for curtains, pillowcases, duvet cover and accent pillows. I just need to get down to my sewing machine and get them taken care of. I am hoping to find a queen size bedframe on craigslist I can refurbish and add to the room as well as a chair of some sort to go with the desk. Finally we need so decorations for the wall and this room will be finished completely.

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Showered

This past Saturday friends and family threw me a baby shower that was out of this world. It was pink, girly and the absolute perfect way to celebrate the little lady that will be joining our family very shortly. It had a Sugar and Spice theme and was actually held at my own home to make me more comfortable.

The details:Wreath that greeted guests as they came in.Food table all set up with lots of goodies. The food tended to follow the theme of sugar and spice.Clothes line set up over the gift table with little outfits and goodies. Her first swimsuit is on that line as well! Love that!My cakes were cheesecake from Hank's Cheesecake. This is actually what we had for our wedding as well which made it even more special. I LOVE cheesecake! MMMMMM.These candles were given out as favors to all the guests. The label on the front has a cute word graph with words such as Sugar, Spice, baby girl, our last name etc. On the back is a poem that reads: When baby S arrives to meet her mother and father, celebrate the day and light this candle in her honor.

After seeing all the decorations, enjoying mingling with my guests and playing a couple of games it was time to move on to presents. Monkey got so many cute little outfits, onesies, toys and accessories.


She also received a very special present. A beautiful quilt made by my aunt. It will be a gift that is treasured by me for a very long time to come and hopefully when she is old and grown it will be a gift that she is excited to take with her. A tag will be made after she is born with her name, birthdate etc on it to personalize it even more.Lily joined the celebration too. Matching the rest of the decorations in her pink sundress and beaded necklace. She is going to be such a great big sister!
Finally daddy-to-be showing his face upstairs and looking ever so excited to be surrounded by a house full of women. He was thrilled however about helping eat the leftover food of course.

I can't thank my mom, sister, mother-in-law, sister-in-law and best friend enough for throwing me such a wonderful shower. They really put a lot of thought and effort into all of the plans. A special thank you to all of my guests as well for helping us welcome and prepare for our new little addition.

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Mid Week Miscellany

1. Renovations are progressing slowly. Very slowly. Our progress so far:

Guest room - needs caulk and touch up paint
Nursery - waiting for closet system and closet doors to be installed
Hallway - crown needs sanded & painted, baseboards need painted, linen closet trim and doors painted, install new lights
Living/Dining room - finish spackling walls, install window trim, fill nail holes, sand down trim and crown, paint everything
Foyer - sand crown, caulk new trim & baseboards, paint trim & door, repaint walls
Family room - remove old trim, pull up carpet and vinyl, drywall patch walls, spackle, sand, paint, have new carpet laid, install & paint new trim and molding
Kitchen - remove old baseboards & install new ones, sand & paint trim, paint counter tops, clean, sand, paint & re-grout old tile backsplash, figure out what to do with nasty vinyl floor, paint garage door, hang new basement door.

If you think the size of this list is scary you should see what it looks like on paper where each task is truly broken down. Did I mention our deadline is Monday February 8? Self imposed deadline by yours truly but I may just lose it if we go past that date!

2. I finally picked fabric for the nursery and decided what was going to go where. I can't wait to get started on it! That will be my February projects starting Tuesday February 9 since I may need a day break from projects to actually clean my house.

3. I didn't eat meat for the last two years out of choice for not really liking it. Then somehow it turned into a label and I felt pressured not to eat meat due to said label. Pregnancy requires a great deal of protein and I am having severe aversions to many protein sources but for once in my life meat tastes delish. So now I eat meat. Everyone seems to think it is ok to not only have an opinion but voice it about my choices and make rude remarks. Yes I LOVED that steakburger I had a couple of weeks ago. Get over it. And no I have no clue how I will feel about different protein sources after pregnancy.

4. Lily got sick last Friday around 5. In my car. It was disgusting. Then she continued to get sick for the rest of the evening. Due to this we missed a good friends going away party. Then at midnight she decided she felt a million times better, ate her dinner and was ready to play. Fortunately for her, she is super cute and I can't stayed annoyed for too long.

5. Those that believe a baby's foot in the ribs hurts should try having a head there instead. Monkey is breech and has figured out she can use my bladder to trampoline her head into my already sore right rib over and over. She typically starts this about 9:00 at night and continues off and on till about 2 am. It makes for a very long sleepless night.

6. They say that a baby's sleep pattern is established and noticeable by now (30 weeks). I have definitely noticed that she does seem to have awake and quiet times roughly around the same time every day. However, if this is the pattern that she tends to follow after she is here I am terrified. It is nothing in line with my sleep and awake times. I am not a good exhausted person. You should feel very terrified for my husband. Good thing he has more patience in his pinky toe than I do in my whole body.

7. I realized the other day that I still have not made our wedding albums. It's been almost 3 years. They may never happen at this point and that makes me oh so very sad. Maybe when the house is done if that ever happens either.

8. My bff had her baby this past week. Her new son is absolutely precious and I couldn't adore him more. I am so excited for her and her hubby. However, I am a little sad too. Being pregnant together was such an amazing experience and I am so lucky to have gotten to have it but sad it is over. Getting to hold and snuggle that little boy though is worth the little sadness. It is also amazing to see Chad's eyes light up when he holds him and see what an amazing daddy he is going to be to our little one.

9. Baby class frightens me every week. I hated hearing about the epidurals but I thought I was going to throw up when they pulled out the needle for show and tell. If I wasn't convinced before that natural was my goal it sure was after that. My needle fear is now right up there with my fear of 8 legged flesh eating monsters (aka spiders to the rest of the world)

That basically sums it up. I am really hoping to have before and after pics of at least a couple rooms next week.

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Nursery Sneak Peak

We have been hard at work all week on lots of projects in the house. However, the nursery is the room that we are most concerned with coming together and I am loving it. This is a little preview of what we have so far.

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2009 Winter Holiday Review

This may have been the most enjoyable holiday season that we have had in years even though I can't put my finger on what was all that different.

Thanksgiving was spent eating lots of food and enjoying time with both of our families. It was also the first time most of my family had seen me with my baby bump even though it was pretty unimpressive.

I love Christmas. The sights, sounds, smells and tastes of the season all manage to win me over despite the bitter cold that accompanies the season. Christmas was again spent eating lots of food and enjoying time with both of our families. I was incredibly spoiled this year. My parents surprised me with this scrapbook tote (in brown and pink though) in addition to the new closet system my dad is making for the nursery!

My inlaws surprised us with our carseat and an extra base for it. I am just the tiniest bit obsessed with it!


Finally under my tree was my beautiful new purse. I finally cashed in on a deal Chad and I had made years earlier. The best part of this present was actually the look on my darling husbands face as we picked it out together and then again as I unwrapped it. How lucky I truly am!

For Chad the tree was mostly filled with many new tools which he couldn't have been more excited about. :). Lily too had a great year and really got into the spirit of opening presents. She ripped and shredded the paper and I think may have enjoyed that more than what was inside!

We rang in New Years with a great group of friends on the Illinois side. This trip was made so much easier due to 64 now being open! This year we ended up being one of the first too leave after the ball drop but it was still WAY too late for me. I manage to stay up so late by have a glass of coke which of course is full of caffeine. It definitely kept Monkey awake as well. She was bouncing in my belly all evening long!

2009 has been such a memorable year. We have gone from just a couple with a dog renting an apartment to a house with a baby on the way (and of course the dog is still a very constant presence!).

2010 has started off with a bang as well due to starting massive amounts of renovation on the house this first week of January. Guess it is time to get back to helping with that.

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Thrifty Finds

I had to run to the post office today to get stamps for our Christmas cards. While I was there it seemed the perfect opportunity to run over to Goodwill. I have been wanting to try my hand at making a pair of recycled longies. Since these require a wool or nearly all wool sweater it was something that I was going to have to elsewhere besides my always growing stack of material. Not only did the perfect sweater make its way into my hands but I found some other fabulous deals as well. Everything I purchased was in either new or nearly new condition. Not a stain, rip, hole or any fading in site

1 sweater for longies & diaper cover - $6
1 women's knit turtleneck to make into a sleeper and hat - $3
1 6-12 mos heavy jacket (old navy) - $4
4 pairs of soft baby pants - $4 ($1 each)
1 6 mos dress - $1
2 infant hats - $1 ($.50 each)
1 skull cap with fleece lining (NWT) - $2
1 pink hooded towel - $1
1 penguin hooded toddler sized towel (NWT) - $1 (This retails for $11 at Target!)
1 pink and white baby blanket - $1
1 Safety First swaddler - $1

Bringing my grand total to $25

Here is a picture of my loot:


I am so excited. The best part is now I have a few more sewing projects to add to the list!

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Favorite. Quote. Ever.

Chad (while feeling baby move) - "Wow that is crazy. She is really rolling around in there. I'm so excited, only 16 more weeks to go. Man I couldn't be more excited!"

*sigh* be still my beating heart.

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Our Nursery So Far

A lot of our free time lately has been spent fixing up the future nursery. So far we have managed to get the walls painted, some of the furniture purchased and most of the main decor decided on.

There are a couple difference from the picture above. I couldn't find a photo of our actual rocker but it is very similar in shape to this one. However, ours is a more of a slight off white than an actual tan color. Second our fan has white blades as opposed to wood. Also, the big black square is actually an entire black wall. It will be a magnetic chalkboard wall which we couldn't be more excited about!

The biggest dilemma I have right now are the curtains for the room. We have one window that is slightly wider than a normal window. The wall it is on is white and will have only the rocker in one corner with the little table beside it. The one thing I know I want is some sort of sheer or shade for added privacy since that side of the house is very close to the neighbors.

The first line of pictures below are the two different panel styles I am trying to choose between. I could either go more simple and clean lined with a grommet style that just hangs on the sides of the window. The other option is a tied back rod pocket panel which would provide a soft lush feeling.

Then I have to choose the shade style. I really love the look of bamboo roman shades and I found some that are on clearance which are cordless. A very good idea for a nursery! However, there isn't really any other natural wood look in there at the moment so I didn't know if it would stand out in a bad way or not. I could always bring some in with the accents I suppose. I could also go with either a sheer roman shade or a full panel sheer.

Finally I could scrap all of those ideas and go with a roman shade similar to the very last picture. I really do like the look of that a lot however, since there wasn't anything else going on that wall I didn't know if that would make the window too plain or not.

When it comes to color all along I have planned to go with white curtains to blend in seamlessly with the wall since an entire black wall seemed to be enough drama for one small space. However, now I am wondering if I shouldn't do the curtains in a pink to pull the color throughout the room some more.

Can you tell I am lost? Suggestions? Which of these would you pull together or would you go with a totally different idea? Any and all ideas are very welcomed!

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